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| Normal-sized portions aren't enough for this little orphan brat apparently so he runs off to go tea-leafing and almost comes a right cropper So there's this kid right who's shipwrecked and is on a raft fending off a f**king tiger! Or he's a cannibal who ate all the other survivors Bunch of freaks team up to ditch mystic jewellery. Wizard on wizard fight action, big Man/Elf/Dwarf v Orc tear up in Mordor, ooh me Precious I'm wearing fancy suits, I'm listening to Huey Lewis, I'm doing some hookers, I'm chopping up a stockbroker guy I know with a big shiny axe Slightly dodgy toff does whatever he fancies with no physical downside. Cos he has a portrait that takes the heat for him. Until you stab it Scottish nobleman gets a weird prophecy so his pushy wife nags him into killing the king AND his best mate so he ends up losing everything. | |
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